Last week was horrible.
after the flu hit me I took it very easy all week. Usually when something sad like losing my cat happens, I keep myself busy so I don't stay in the sadness, last week I just couldn't be busy, that flu just kept me down. However, I bounced back faster than normal, and I do attribute that to my chiropractor. Airborne and liters of water every day helped too! :)
So with all the time to relax I was able to realize that I'm not happy. It's not that I didn't know, I was just able to really realize it. The other night Christy and I were watching TV and she invited me out somewhere, and I declined. She kept probing as to why and finally asked "what's up with you? aren't you happy?" I just burst into tears. I nodded no. Her response "Wow, you are good at hiding it!"
Sometimes, with the depression I deal with, masking your emotions is the only way to get through the day! After I was able to vent to her my stresses of working two jobs, still barely making ends meet, and various other little issues, I felt better. It's not that I don't have a good support system in my life, I do. It's that I am moving through this life so fast I don't realize I need to use it every once in a while!
So no, I'm not happy with where we live, or the fact that I work two jobs, but this is all just a means to an end, we are working toward moving forward. I am constantly reminding myself that this literally is only the interim. Deuce getting the airline job is just one more step closer.
I am happy with my husband, and the life we have built, I am happy the next step is so close. I am happy with the big picture, just unhappy with the small snapshots.
But on to better things!
Sunday was great! We both decided to take a day for us, so we had breakfast in bed, then we went rollerskating with some friends from the club. It was a blast. Deuce had never been to a roller rink before, and of course although it was his first time on roller skates (he only used roller blades growing up) he was awesome.
After rollerskating we went and had some lunch with our friends at a great little Chinese restaurant. Came home and relaxed.
This week at work will be CRAZY I am resetting the entire store on Sunday, so all week will be prep work for that. But I'm excited, it is about time for me to actually DO MY JOB! (I hate sale....)